If I'm Not Dying, I'm Getting Laughed At
by alex's wonderland
Summary: 3-Shot. Post-Book, Johnny and Dallas are alive. Basically, Ponyboy has an appendicitis attack, and Darry rushes him to the hospital. Really random and pointless, but thats okay. Please read and review. Its better than this review makes it sound.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton.

Ponyboy glanced at the clock on his bedside table. He let out a frustrated sigh as he remembered that the clock was broken. Steve, Soda, and Dally had utterly demolished the small clock last week when they decided to have a full-on wrestling match in the tiny room.

Ponyboy breathed out slowly, and stood up carefully; so as to not shake the bed and wake Soda up. A sharp pain erupted from Ponyboy's stomach as he stood from the bed. He grabbed at his abdomen and squeezed his eyes shut in pain. He had been having these terrible stomach aches for the past two days.

Ponyboy quickly walked around the bed, and through the doorway, making his way to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom, he flicked the light on and stared at himself in the mirror. One word came to Ponyboy's mind as he observed his own face: "tired."

Ponyboy's dark hair was all flattened out on the right side of his head and sticking upward on the left side. His mouth drooped into a frown, and he seemed to be getting dark rings around his eyes. Ponyboy slowly opened his mouth and licked his very chapped lips. He rested his hands on the counter, leaned forward toward the sink, and spit out some mucus that had been in the back of his throat.

He glanced back up at his face in the mirror and muttered, "I'm not looking so good…" Ponyboy sighed, and turned around.

He didn't want to go back into the bedroom, because he always felt bad when he woke Soda up. So Ponyboy slowly made his way into the living room, where he planned to stretch out on the couch, and try to catch a few hours of sleep before Darry made him get up. Even on Saturday mornings Darry always made Ponyboy wake up before ten o'clock.

But as he entered the livingroom, he saw another figure lying on the couch. Ponyboy's initial emotion was irritation, because now he was going to have to reenter his bedroom and surly wake Soda up. But as he examined the figure on the couch, he realized that it wasn't Tim or Curly or Steve. It was someone smaller; someone tanner.

Ponyboy smiled to himself. _Oh, it's just Johnny._

Ponyboy took a few steps closer to Johnny, and stood silently for a moment as he observed the older boy. Johnny had a thin brown blanket wrapped around him, and his head rested on a puffy couch pillow. He was lying on his side with his dark hair pressed up against his forehead. He had his legs curled up close to him, and his arms were crossed over his chest, almost like a mummy's.

Johnny shifted around a bit, before opening his eyes sluggishly, and looking up at Ponyboy. "What'cha staring at me for Pony?"

Ponyboy smiled a bit before saying, "I was comin' in here to sleep for the rest of the night, cause I don't wanna wake Soda up. Why did ya wake up?"

Johnny shook his head as if he were rattled. "I don't know, it's like I could feel ya looking at me or something…" He just shrugged and scooted up further on the couch so that there was room for Ponyboy to lie down. Ponyboy leaned over and grabbed another blanket that was lying on Darry's chair, before climbing onto the couch with Johnny.

Once he was settled and lying on his back comfortably, Ponyboy asked Johnny, "So…what happened?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you here? What happened?"

Johnny readjusted his legs and rolled over onto his other side. "Oh, nothin. Just my ol'man was drunk again."

Ponyboy didn't really need to ask. He and everybody else in the gang knew damn well what Johnny's father was like. "He hurt'cha bad?"

"Nope. I lit on outa there as soon as he started."

"You sure?"

"Yeah man, I'm fine. Now I'm gonna go to bed, alright?"

Ponyboy sighed. "Sure Johnny."

Ponyboy knew that Johnny was just covering up. If Johnny had really not been hurt too bad then he probably would have just gone out to the vacant lot to sleep, especially on such a warm night like this. No, Johnny must have been hurt pretty bad for him to really want to come over to the Curtis house and crash on their couch. He knew he was always welcome, but he didn't like mooching off of other people. Johnny was like that; always concerned about what everybody else felt like. He didn't spend enough time worrying about what he felt like.

Ponyboy's hands started sweating, just as he thought about Mr. Cade laying a hand on Johnny. No kid deserved that, especially a kid like Johnny; a quite kid who wouldn't hurt nobody for nothing. Ponyboy shook his head and told himself that he needed to quit thinking about Johnny's father, because he'd never get to sleep once he got all riled up and frustrated.

Ponyboy finally closed his eyes and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

When Pony opened his eyes it felt like he had just dozed off for a minute or two. But bright sunlight was shining through the window into his gray-green eyes.

He groaned quietly while pushing himself up into a sitting position on the edge of the couch. Pony looked around at his living room. Darry had tried to clean it up a little last night before he went to bed, so it didn't look as bad as it normally did. The card table was no longer lying on its side, and the floor wasn't totally littered with trash and beer cans.

Ponyboy allowed himself to slip into a memory of his mother. He contemplated his mother's cleaning skills, and how she never let the house get too dirty. But she was still fun-loving and kind. She allowed her sons to have a true childhood. They were always crashing in and out of the house, covered in dirt and grime, laughing their heads off about their latest joke or adventure. She never stifled them, but she knew how to keep them in line.

Ponyboy frowned as he thought about his mother. _I've gotta stop right here. I can't think about her too much…I won't cry in front of the guys again…I won't. _

Ponyboy stood up wearily, but immediately collapsed back onto the couch. The pain in his stomach was back, and worse than ever. Ponyboy rolled to his back on the couch, and moaned as he clutched at his midsection. It was a sharp intense pain that seemed to start in his stomach, and radiate all though his body.

Darry and Johnny came rushing into the living room from the kitchen. Darry scooted Ponyboy's legs over, and sat down next to him on the couch. "You alright, Ponyboy? What is it?"

Ponyboy first gave his brother a bewildered look, and then answered, "Oh, it's my stomach again."

"Its still hurting, like it was yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we'd better take you to a doctor Ponyboy. You could really be sick. I've never seen you hurt so bad just over an upset stomach."

"No, I'm fine. I'm just…"

"No Ponyboy. You just stay here and give me a second. I'll be ready to go in just a minute. We're taking you to the doctor."

Johnny stood awkwardly in the middle of the room as Darry rushed down the hallway to his bedroom. "Umm…I'd go with you to the doctor Ponyboy, but you know how I hate hospitals."

"Don't sweat it Johnny. I don't even wanna go."

"Ha, but yeah…I guess I'm gonna go on over to the vacant lot, or Two Bit's house. I'll drop by later."

Ponyboy nodded goodbye to Johnny, then clenched his teeth as another wave of pain hit his stomach. Ponyboy had had stomach aches before, but nothing like this. Something was definitely wrong.

Darry reentered the living room with his jacket on, and his hair combed back. "Soda's at work, and today is my only night off for two weeks, so if you're getting sick, we gotta go to the doctor today."

Pony nodded, and allowed his big older brother to pull him off the bed, and walk him out to the Ford pickup. He thought unhappily to himself, _"Well, this is not how I really wanted to spend my Saturday morning."_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton.

Ponyboy, Soda, and Darry had been going to the same doctor for as long as the three of them could remember. His name was Doctor Sanderson. He was a good-natured, chubby, bearded old man, who reminded the boys Santa Clause when ever they saw him.

Dr. Sanderson worked in the east wing of the Tulsa central hospital. By the time Darry pulled his old pickup into the hospital's parking lot, Ponyboy was in tears.

Darry kept shooting anxious looks at his younger brother and saying, "Hold on Pony. We're almost there. Hold on Pony."

Ponyboy wished that Darry would be quite. He knew full well how close they were to the hospital, and he didn't need to hold on to anything. As far as Ponyboy was concerned, all he needed to do was lean back in the passenger seat and die. He had never felt so sick in his life, even after Johnny and Dally had almost died last year. His stomach hurt so badly, and he had started crying in spite of himself. The pain seemed to send shock waves through his arms and legs. All he could do was clench his teeth and moan and groan to himself.

Finally Darry parked the truck outside the front of the office, and ushered Ponyboy inside. The pair burst into Dr. Sanderson's office and Darry swiftly turned on the old secretary behind the desk. "Get Dr. Sanderson in here now!"

The lady started to say something but Darry cut her off. "Lady, can't you see that this is an emergency!"

She was silent as she spun around in her chair, and picked up the phone. "Dr. there are some patients here to see you. It is an emergency…Alright then."

She turned back to Ponyboy and Darry, who both had expressions of confusion and agitation on their faces. "Dr. Sanderson is in the examination room, just through there. You can go in now."

Darry put his arm around Ponyboy, and helped him through the doors of the examination room. They found Dr. Sanderson standing at the sink, washing his hands, and humming happily to himself. He hurriedly wiped his hands off and stepped forward. "Oh my God, Ponyboy Curtis, what is the matter?"

"My stomach hurts!" Ponyboy didn't mean to yell at him, but he couldn't help it. He felt like he was going to pass out if he didn't sit down straight away.

Dr. Sanderson and Darry helped Ponyboy onto the examination table, where the younger boy lay back thankfully, and closed his eyes. Dr. Sanderson quickly started questioning Darry, because it didn't look like Ponyboy had the strength to carry on a conversation at the moment.

"How long has your brother been having these pains?"

"Umm…he said about two days, but they've never been this bad before."

"Has Ponyboy eaten anything in the past four days that could have given him food poisoning?"

"Umm…I don't think so. He's only mostly eaten at home and I don't think we've made anything that could have gotten him sick; just soup, and chicken, and spaghetti...and other stuff."

"Is he on any medication?"

"No…well maybe aspirin, but that's it."

Dr. Sanderson nodded, turned toward Ponyboy, and placed his hand on the boy's stomach. He applied a bit of pressure, and Ponyboy yelped with pain. Dr. Sanderson moved his hand to the right and applied the same amount of pressure.

Ponyboy barked with pain again and said, "Stop pushin' on my stomach, will'ya. It hurts enough as it is!"

"I have to see where you are the most sensitive, to find out what it wrong with you." Dr. Sanderson answered calmly. He moved his hand to the left side of Ponyboy's stomach and pushed down.

Ponyboy said, "It doesn't hurt as bad there, as it did on the other side."

Dr. Sanderson nodded and said, "Okay Ponyboy, we need to just run a few tests to find out what's wrong. Alright?"

Pony sighed. "Alright."

First Dr. Sanderson called a nurse in, and had her get a blood sample from Ponyboy's arm. Ponyboy didn't want to seem weak or afraid in front of Darry, but he couldn't help but cry out when the nurse stuck the needle into his arm. Ponyboy had never done very well with needles.

Then the nurse stuck a thermometer into Ponyboy's mouth, and under his tongue. Darry stood protectively behind Ponyboy the whole time. When the nurse pulled the thermometer out of Ponyboy's mouth she examined it and clucked to herself. "102 degrees!" Darry looked at the woman in disbelief, then stepped forward and raised the back of his hand to Ponyboy's forehead. He almost gasped as he withdrew his hand in shock. "Lordly Pony, I had no idea you was burning up so bad!"

Dr. Sanderson reentered the room for a moment and walked to the examination table. He said, "Ponyboy, I know you're stomach hurts, but I need you to stand up for me. I need to see if you can support your own weight by yourself."

Darry helped Ponyboy to his feet, and then reluctantly released him. Ponyboy wobbled unsteadily for a moment before his knees buckled from underneath him, and his limp body went crashing for the floor. Darry and Dr. Sanderson caught him under the arms before he actually hit the floor. Once they hoisted him back onto the table, Dr. Sanderson rushed off again, leaving Darry, the nurse, and Ponyboy alone in the small room once again.

For twenty painful minutes, the three had to wait for the doctor to return. Darry was pacing angrily back and forth across the width of the room. He was continually mumbling to himself, "What's taking so long? Doesn't he see that my little brother is hurtin over here? Why doesn't that damn doctor hurry up? Can't he see that Ponyboy is in pain here?"

The friendly nurse had pulled up a chair next to Ponyboy, and was speaking to him in a soothing voice the entire time. She asked him where he went to school, what grade he was in, how old his brothers were, what sports he played, and when his birthday was. The woman just didn't seem to understand that Ponyboy was in no mood to talk. Just for the sake of being polite he had answered all of her questions, but the pain in his stomach seemed to intensify whenever he spoke. He really wanted Darry to quit walking circles around the room, and come tell this nurse lady to hush up.

Finally Dr. Sanderson came back into the room, this time with an urgent expression on his face. Darry stepped forward and demanded, "What is going on Doctor? What is taking so long to find out what is wrong with Ponyboy?!"

Dr. Sanderson put both of his hands palm down on the examination table next to Ponyboy's legs, and sighed. "Ponyboy's white blood count was much higher than usual. And just judging by his high fever, and the fact that he cannot stand up…I believe he is having an appendicitis attack."

They were all silent for a moment. Ponyboy didn't really understand what that meant. In anatomy class he had heard that the appendix was just some small useless organ in your stomach that caught all of the gum you accidentally swallowed. He had never heard of an appendicitis attack.

Darry finally asked, "So what does that mean?"

"It means that Ponyboy's appendixs has become inflamed, and will rupture if it is not removed quickly."

"Removed?"

"It is a small surgical procedure."

"He has to have surgery?!"

"Darrel, the appendixs is a totally useless organ. It will be no trouble to remove."

"But its surgery! Are you sure this is the only way to stop the pain…this isn't something that will just stop in a day or two? Cause, Ponyboy is real afraid of going under the knife. He's scared real bad of surgery, ever since he had his tonsils removed in first grade, remember?"

"Yes, I do remember…but this is the only way. I promise, it is a very normal and routine procedure. Ponyboy will be able to go home in just a few short days. But it is critical that we move him to the north wing, and get him into surgery. The longer we waist time, the more likely it is that his appendixs will rupture, and really hurt him."

Darry thought to himself for a moment, and then nodded. Dr. Sanderson told the nurse to go notify the north wing of the upcoming patient, and wheel in a gurney for them to transport Ponyboy on.

During this entire conversation, Ponyboy had gone as white as a sheet. He didn't want to have surgery. He had been so shaken and scared after he woke up from his last surgery, when he was seven.

Darry quickly stepped over toward his little brother. As soon as Darry was close enough, Ponyboy reached out and grabbed his hand. It just about broke Darry's heart to see Ponyboy so scared and in pain. But Darry just held onto Ponyboy's hand until the nurse came into the room with a rolling stretcher and Dr. Sanderson said, "Boys, its time to go."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton.

Ponyboy woke up about three hours after he went into surgery. He moaned sleepily to himself, and looked around the small hospital room. S

oda and Darry sat in two wooden chairs and were playing cards at the foot of his bed. Soda tossed his hand of cards down on the bed and stood up quickly when he saw that Ponyboy was awake. "Finally decide to wake up, sleepy head?!"

Ponyboy sighed, and groggily rubbed his left eye. "Yeah…I guess so."

Darry also laid his cards down on the bed, and walked closer to Ponyboy. He said, "Soda, go get the nurse out in the hallway and tell her that Ponyboy finally woke up."

Soda nodded cheerfully, spun around on his heel, and strolled out into the hallway to locate Ponyboy's designated nurse. Darry smiled at Ponyboy. "You're surgery went real well. You hurting anymore?"

Pony was silent for a moment as he contemplated the question. He finally answered, "Well, not the same way as before. I just feel sore now."

"Yeah, I guess you're supposed to. You're gonna have a scare on the left of you stomach now…just there, under that bandage. I guess its gonna look pretty tough. I guess you can tell people that you got in a knife fight of something, huh?"

Ponyboy knew that Darry was trying to joke around with him, but he just nodded lazily and said, "Yeah…When can I go home?"

"The doctor said that you'd be discharged within the next day or two…it just sorta depends on how you're feelin." Darry waited for a reply, but Ponyboy had already gone back to sleep.

* * *

Ponyboy was allowed to go home two days after having his appendics removed. His stomach still felt sore around the incision, but he was feeling a lot better.

Darry entered Ponyboy's room on Tuesday afternoon and said, "Some fat girl stopped by to see you a little earlier, but you were taking a nap."

Ponyboy looked up from the book he was reading and looked quizzically at his older brother. "Oh?"

Darry crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame of Soda's and Pony's small bedroom. "Yeah, her name was…Sally…Shirley…something like that."

"Was it Shelly?"

"Yeah! Yeah, it was Shelly. She brought you some of your books from school, and said she wrote down the homework you had missed from today and yesterday."

"Yep, Shelly is in most of my classes."

"She's pretty plump, ain't she?"

"I guess so, but she's real nice. We're not really that good of friends, though. I don't know why she would've stopped by, unless one of the teachers asked her to."

"Well, she seemed awful concerned bout you not coming to school for the past two days. She was really itchin' to know when you planned on coming back."

"Well, when did you tell her I'd be back?"

"Tomorrow."

"Darry! You said I didn't have to go back till Thursday!"

"I saw you tossin' the football around with Johnny this morning. You know full well that you're feeling good enough to go to school tomorrow."

Ponyboy just huffed and looked back down to his book.

"Oh, Ponyboy…"

Ponyboy looked up, annoyed, and moodily asked, "What?"

Darry grinned. "I read the sheet of paper that Shelly handed me that had all of your missing assignments on it and…"

Darry paused for dramatic effect, which really agitated Ponyboy. "And what?!"

Darry almost giggled as he said, "She left a little P.S. on the bottom that had her number on it, and a note telling you to call her sometime."

They were both quite, and from the living room, Ponyboy and Darry could here Soda laughing and telling Steve in an unnecessarily loud voice, "Yep, Ponyboys got girls comin' to the house now, trying to pick him up! Big'ole girls, at that! Who knew Pony would turn into such a stud-muffin!?"

Steve and Soda howled and laughed obnoxiously, and Ponyboy blushed furiously.

Darry just chuckled and said, "Yeah well, all your homework and you're little love note are sittin' on the counter in the kitchen, when ever you feel like gettin' up and getting a start on it."

Ponyboy heaved a huge sigh, and rolled over onto his side. He thought to himself, _"I can't ever catch a break, can I? If its not me almost dying of an appendicitis attack, it's my friends making fun of me cause some chubby girl likes me…"_

* * *

I realize that this was random and really pointless, but oh well...

So I'm not really sure if this turned out any good or not.

So you should review, and help me figure it out :) haha.

But seriously, it would be great if you reviewed.

Thanks so much for reading! I hoped you liked it.


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